NEW BLOG

Hello little darlings.

This blog is no longer in use. Do me a favour, though, and click HERE for my new blog.

kthanksalot. (;

- chaz. ❤

Okay, that’s just disgusting.

Let’s get this straight… It is NEVER, under any circumstances, okay to poop in someone’s car. Yeah, I’m pretty sure any sane person knows that.

_________________________________________

“LAS CRUCES – A teen who allegedly defecated in a man’s car – thinking it was his girlfriend’s – was indicted Thursday on multiple charges of criminal property damage.

Leaving work late the night of March 11, the car’s owner reported finding 18-year-old Austin Horries Purifoy in the back seat of his Honda Civic, pulling up his underwear.

“This is your car?” Purifoy said, according to documents filed in court. “I thought this was Desiree’s car.”

Purifoy then allegedly got out of the car and ran west.

The car’s right front window had been shattered with a rock, the glove box had been rummaged through and some coins had been taken from a film canister, the car’s owner told police.

Police also discovered a cinder block had been thrown through the glass door of a business a few yards away from where the Honda had been parked. Footprints leading from the door to the Honda were later found to match Purifoy’s shoes, which had a distinctive dot and circle pattern, according to court documents.

Located not long after by a nearby ditch, Purifoy allegedly told officers he was outside because he didn’t want his “girlfriend” Desiree to see him smoking.

Purifoy, of the 2700 block of Ridgeway Court, was indicted Thursday by a Do-a Ana County grand jury on two charges of criminal property damage – for the broken glass door and the victim’s car – and one charge of breaking and entering.

Las Cruces school district records show Purifoy dropped out from Las Cruces High School in December 2008. He remains incarcerated at the Do-a Ana County Detention Center, the jail confirmed Thursday.“

- www.lcsunnews.com/dona_ana_news/ci_14761689

________________________________________

Holy shit.

Pun intended.

Is it just me, or does this seem profoundly wrong? First of all, he shit in this guy’s car, thinking it was his girlfriend’s.

This guy must hate his girlfriend quite a bit. This guy actually broke into what he thought was his girlfriend’s car, took a crap in there, stole a couple coins and decided to throw a brick through a window while he was on a roll.

This kid really needs to have his motives questioned.

But seriously, besides this being inexplicably STUPID, it was also one of the grossest things I’ve ever heard of in my life. I really hope this person is mentally ill or something, for his own well being. I absolutely cannot fathom why anyone would want to do something like this. It actually depresses me that we share the same space on this earth as people that take dumps in strangers’ cars. I don’t mean that in a rude way either. It’s just really fricken nasty.

And does anyone understand the part about him not wanting his girlfriend to see him smoking? I don’t get it, but it seems to me like he shouldn’t be concerned about her feelings after trying to take a crap in her car. Oh and steal a bunch of quarters. He’s quite big-looking, too. If he hated his girlfriend so much, there’s no need for defecating in her vehicle. Just use the ol’ Chris Brown method. (I’m totally kidding. I am against abuse in every way. Just so you’re aware.)

Courtesy of www.lcsun-news.com.

Cheerio,

- ⓒⓗⓐⓩ

WHY ARE PEOPLE HELL-BENT ON DAMAGING MY NOSE

Hi, the wart on the donkey’s ass just walked over here with a smile on her face and a pencil case in her hand and when she got to me hit me in the nose with it. And then yelled at me for smacking her and calling her a bitch.

This is not the first time I’ve been smashed in the nose while I was just sitting there minding my business. It has happened with laptop case (with a laptop in it), a fist, (by the the same wart on a donkey’s ass), and many other objects. All in the intent of damaging my nose.

Normal people have to worry about things like homework and zits. But no, I can’t be normal because of my geniusness and perfect skin (kidding) and the fact that my nose is so big that people just can’t resist throwing a punch at it. That’s what I have to worry about. Not, “I wonder if someone with punch my nose today?” but, “When will donkey’s ass zit or brigitte hit me in the face with laptop or pencil case?” Don’t get me wrong; they’re my friends. BUT I HATE THEM.

I understand that my nose is big and such, but just because it’s an easy target does NOT give anyone the right to abuse it, and the fact that you people think you can insults me immensely because you are disrespecting the rights of my nose with that attitude.

I’m done now.

And if you’re wondering why I’m making so many posts, it’s because… well, I don’t know. I had two from today already but I just had to blog about this to let people know that noses everywhere are being treated unfairly.

…..

(This is me -before my nose was broken for the 16th time- with my friend Nugget)

^ she’s quite the intellectual

Cheerio,

- ⓒⓗⓐⓩ

Proof of my geniusness

This is the journal I gave in for an assignment. I’m such a genius.

It’s important to be honest (especially with your friends), because if you aren’t honest you might mislead people. Like if your friend smells and you tell her, I’d consider it a helpful gesture because (if you didn’t tell her) then she’d go through the entire day thinking she didn’t smell. And that would be embarrassing for your friend. Maybe she was trying on something at a store and asked you if you liked it and you hated it, its probably best to say that you hate it.

If she’s a true friend she won’t be mad at you. She asked you your opinion, and you replied with the truth. Maybe she’d get mad and say you didn’t appreciate her fashion sense. And freak out and move across the country. And then you’d never see her again. I guess it’s okay to lie in that case. Just a little white lie. But if your friend isn’t a huge spaz, and you know that wouldn’t happen, then honesty is for sure the best policy.

- ⓒⓗⓐⓩ

Tampon trouble.

Hello, my name is Chaz, and I am extremely unnerved by a recent occurrence. I shall tell you all about it.

It all started when I was innocently attempting to complete my schoolwork, and I was so rudely interrupted by a certain mole on a donkey’s behind, who also happens to be my best friend, Lexi. She snuck up behind me and dangled a tampon in my face!

How terribly rude.

I am still shaken by the event. If it happened to you, you would also be highly disturbed. It was startling.

However, we did try to recapture the moment on film. Except, in the recording, I did not slowly look up at the culprit with accusing, narrowed, eyes, like I did in the actual situation. So it did not look correct. Or rather, incorrect, because the event was extremely improper in reality.

Anywho… TOODALOO!

Cheerio,

- ⓒⓗⓐⓩ

Jesus in a frying pan?!

It’s never good to fall asleep while cooking. But if  you see Jesus in a frying pan after that, I guess it’s ok.

Toby Elles, a Halifax Bank cashier from Salford, Lancaster, in an attempt to cook some bacon, fell asleep at the table. He was “miraculously” woken up an hour later by the scent of burning bacon and smoke filling his nostrils. He remembered that he had left the stove on and rushed over to scrape the remains of what was supposed to be bacon from the pan.

What he did not expect to see was the face of Jesus Christ himself looking back up at him from the base of the frying pan.

“Luckily we have an electric hob so I just turned off the heat, but then I lifted up the bacon and there was JC looking back at me.” He said. The face plainly showed a nose, mouth, and eyes, and the beard and long hair of Jesus Christ.

“It’s some kind of miracle,’ said Elles. He claims if the smoke hadn’t woken him up, it could have turned into a very bad situation. And he had the frying pan to prove it. “Perhaps someone is watching over me.”

The 22 year old plans to keep the pan on display in his home for good luck.

Jesus shows himself in the funniest ways.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1257171/Holy-smoke-Bank-worker-saved-divine-intervention-finds-Jesus-frying-pan.html#ixzz0j3MIKnsW

What’s the most “miraculous” thing that’s ever happened to you?

COMMENT!  (:

- ⓒⓗⓐⓩ

43 year old fish?! :O

This story is kind of insane, considering any fish I’ve ever had lived for 2 weeks at the most in my care. And the most original names for fish I’d ever come come with were ‘Pirate Pete’ and ‘Sponge’ and ‘Bob’.  (Get it?)

Buttkiss, a 20 pound black pacu fish is currently living in a pet shop in New York City. That in itself is pretty cool, but it gets better. The store’s (and Buttkiss’) owner, Steve Gruebel, claims that Buttkiss is 43 years old! So basically this fish has been around longer than my mother.

Gruebel got Buttkiss in 1967 when he was but a guppy, and then sold him a year later. He was returned back to the shop in 1970 because he wouldn’t fit in the buyer’s tank anymore.

Buttkiss now tips the scales, weighing in at a staggering 20 pounds and measuring 23 inches long. He lives in a 4 ft, 75 gallon tank that’s probably way too small for a 20 pound pacu.

“I’m afraid if I move him, he may not survive the changing environment,”  Says Gruebel.

Buttkiss is obviously really really old, and it’s starting to show. The fish developed arthritic gills and glaucoma in his right eye. Gruebel can only guess how long he will live, and it will probably be sad to see him go.

A man and his 43 year old fish named Buttkiss.

Cheerio,

- ⓒⓗⓐⓩ

TSR: How to get Sims 3 subscriber only downloads for FREE

I almost peed when I found this out.

And, if  you were wondering, it is NOT illegal. The site clearly states that fact on the main page.

Anywho, here’s what you do:

Type in “PMBD” (without the quotes) on Google and click I’m feeling lucky. The site will pop right up. And again, if you are concerned that it is illegal, read the LOOONG license agreement on the first page. If you really want to do this, I would only pay attention to the bolded parts that outline why using the site IS NOT illegal.

Anyway, to get to the free stuff, scroll all the way down to the bottom and click the link that says, ‘The Booty! Lemme at the buried treasure!” and once you’ve clicked that, you can click “ts3″ in the next window. Then there are a list of Sims 3 Custom Content websites. You can click whatever one you want, but I would recommend TSR because there is A LOT of stuff there.

Then all you have to do is click the item you want (I would recommend going on TSR and looking up the item , then downloading), and let it download. It’s that easy!

ENJOY YOUR FREE STUFF!  :)

cheerio,

- ⓒⓗⓐⓩ

Sims do the darndest things!

One of the weirdest things I’ve ever experienced playing Sims 3 is my sim having a stick baby. This has actually happened many times, but it was the freakiest thing I’d ever seen when I first saw it. It happened to girls only, and the stick sometimes turned into like a huge wall or invisible or something. I looked around online for a way to fix it (in case you have a stick baby, I’ll put the solution at the end of this post), and I found a way. In order to fix it though, you have to change the “baby” into a “toddler”, which looks like this:

Yeah, pretty creepy.

Another odd thing that has happened is my sim swimming in the ground. And walking on pool water. My sims glitch sometimes and hold bowls at their sides. It even happens with babies for a few seconds.

I watched a video on youtube where the baby somehow turned into an adult, but still looked like a baby with it’s head tilted up and his arms outstretched. It dragged itself on the ground, went down the stairs, and picked up a toddler out of his high chair. And the toddler was just floating in the air. One of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen. Here’s the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hLKq6AdDkA&feature=related

What’s the weirdest thing that ever happened to you on Sims 3?

Comment!

(Oh, and as for that solution, here it is: If your baby comes out as a stick, just age them to a toddler (either by the cheat, or buy a birthday cake). Once they are a toddler, they are able to change their own clothes and appearance. Just click the dresser and click, ‘Plan Outfit’. Make sure you change all the outfit categories!)

*ⓒⓗⓐⓩ*

→ VISIT: www.purplemustache.blog.com, www.xoxohorseloverxoxo.blog.com, www.xoxohorseloverxoxo.blog.com, and www.newnuggetbuddy.blog.com. NOW. Or, as my great friend Jesse has mentioned, I WILL come at you with a unicorn. ←

Funny Yahoo! Answers questions :)

A list of the most stupid/hilarious questions on Yahoo! Answers.

ENJOY!  (:

This reminded me of myself.

The answerer, I mean.  (:

Thanks to

FunnyYahooAnswers.net

and

Yahoolaughs.com

COMMENT!

From the blog